This is where I start with -IT’S THE CONSISTENCY FOR ME(laughs). I’ve kept this lessons from my guitar thing for three consecutive weeks now . If I take a break now , I am sure you will have something to read if you ever come back to this space of mine . Anyway , thank you for clicking the link that you just clicked and landed here -wherever you found it . Facebook , Twitter , Instagram , even my WhatsApp status . The analytics are very encouraging by the way . That’s exactly why I kept going .

First of all , this is not a self help programme for lost souls . Nope. I know that sounds so weird and rude (probably)but it should not be . If you’ve read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert , there is a part where she basically says don’t do things with an aim of helping people . Don’t write a book because you want to get people out of their ruts , or fix people , or the world . Don’t create art for people . Do it for …..not your governor, not your village elder , not your ancestors , not Arsenal , not your boyfriend , not prince Harry ,not Aristotle or Socrates, not your church choir , not your pretty cat , your neighbor’s weird kid , or the lizard looking at you reading this article right now from the wall ,,none of these people . Do it for YOU. Because it fascinates you and ignites a certain fire in you . That’s why I really don’t want anyone to look at this as a self help corner because you may end up getting disappointed . I wasn’t joking the lizard by the way . I heard that they love reading too .

So here are more lessons from my guitar . I hope they resonate with you once again .

Safe spaces

This one may look a little different , like I have been paid by a multi million guitar company to push their agenda (I wish) . Ever since I picked up the guitar (my dad bought it for me 7 years earlier) I have found a new way of expressing myself and I have found something to push all my creative energy into . When I am happy and jumpy , I pick it up and play happy songs while singing in my head . If you walk into my room while I do that , you will close the door silently , pick up your phone and immediately search for -How to tell if someone has gone mad . I have songs that I can play when I feel confused , when I am grateful , sad , tired ,etc . There is always a song that I can play and swim through whatever emotion I am feeling . I didn’t have that before and that’s why I call my guitars my best friends . When I get home late at night , tired and maybe frustrated (it’s quite normal) , instead of just going to sleep feeling like a sack of rotten potatoes , I can pick the guitar and play one chord progression for as long as I can , while I analyze how my day actually was. I know it looks very weird but trust me , it works , for me .

It’s the same with writing here . I write without following any script or rules (it’s my website so I do what I want ) , because it helps me get a certain load off my back . It can be a good load , or a bad one . Whatever it is , sitting down at the window and writing down my thoughts definitely helps me get clarity on different things . It is a struggle at the end of the day , but one I am willing to suffer for . I once met someone who rides his bike every day to work instead of using public transport . He rides on one of Nairobi’s busiest roads . A struggle ? of course . But why does he put himself through that every single day? Because he loves riding his bike . It makes him so happy that he is willing to ride on a busy highway in the morning .

Self improvement might be ruining your life

Photo by rikka ameboshi from Pexels

Yeah , that definitely got you , right? But what if it’s true. If there is something I have struggled with as a guitarist and even in my piano days(I miss that instrument), it’s trying to be good at it by all means necessary. I was obsessed with learning these things so that I can get out of that beginner category and move up the steps . Of course I did , eventually , which is a huge plus , but looking back , I have realized that even if the sky is the limit , we are not meant to risk everything for it . Because the sky might be different for different people .

I once wrote down a whole plan for my guitar lessons , fixed my daily productivity calendar so that I could FOCUS on learning and guess what , I did absolutely nothing . I realized that without those productivity apps fixing my calendar , I was able to learn smoothly . I enjoyed learning random songs I came across on Youtube or songs I love instead of songs that the guitar teacher online is teaching or suggesting . I could play for an hour without any specific agenda but couldn’t go past half the hour mark with an agenda. Basically , configuring my guitar journey to a roadmap built by someone else stopped me from enjoying the process . So I stopped and did what I felt was right , to just enjoy playing music . Of course , I kept a general plan for essential things that I needed to learn in my mind , but I stopped torturing myself with playing music I did not like .

This is where the self improvement thing comes on board . I know you probably have some self help books and that is okay . I do have some myself . They can be a great boost sometimes . There are positives to it .But self improvement can be a way of turning yourself into ….A MACHINE. The self help industry , as Youtuber Nathaniel Drew puts it , attracts people who are vulnerable (Nail on the head). People who are trying to fix something about themselves . Like a boy here who wanted to learn and be productive at guitar playing . It’s feeling a certain hole .

If you are going to self help from a place of wanting to fix yourself , then it ultimately won’t be the answer . It will leave you feeling more unhappy . It’s the ultimate -FUNCTIONING IN DYSFUNCTION-for me . It’s like a football player walking into the pitch with an ACL injury and playing for 90 minutes .

Can we find external solutions to internal problems? Well , never. And that is the downside of self improvement for most young people these days (me included). Someone special said to me “Self improvement might be ruining your life . You get obsessed with fixing everything that you end up missing everything . Imagine taking your car to the mechanic every weekend for checks and repairs yet the car is in perfect condition or maybe it has a small fault that you can work on by yourself. The mechanic will give you a false diagnosis and take your money to fix nothing . Who losses here ? It’s you . You don’t go out on that road trip or make extra money with the car because of an obsession of fixing it “. I thought about that for some time and it ended up resonating with my guitar journey. I tried to fix it so much that I missed almost a whole month of it . I can’t even remember the songs I learned during that season .

I don’t know about you but I am learning to just , you know , LIVE. I am in that phase of my life where everything falls to -You need to save more money for your future -Invest while you can-Buy that plot of land NOW-Get married – Have babies-Wake up at 5am and start being productive-Don’t waste your time doing silly things-Work on your confidence -Be bold-Wear that suit so that you can look serious with life-Start planning for your retirement-Bitcoin-Be a philosopher -etc etc . I am not brushing off all these things but sometimes I just want to sit down and watch SpongeBob square pants or hang upside down on the wall while playing PES 2017(laughs uncontrollably). I have been “running” ever since I turned 19 , from school to getting into the career I am in right now . Running and running . I am sure I am not the only one who went to school while too young , ended up a 16 year old form 4 leaver and that leaves you working extra hard to prove the-Age is nothing but a number at work -narrative. Makes sense? I hope it does

If you ever approach me with the-“MK ,you know you are in your early 20s , so …..blah blah blah on your self image , your brand …” , I want you to know that I acknowledge your valued input . However , I might not even have an idea of where I want to be in the next five years or I am figuring out how we can sell Willian , Bellerin and Kolasinac and make enough money to buy a new midfielder within the next three days before the transfer window comes to an end .(laughs). I know I am speaking for so many people here .

I am learning to just live , be present , be kind to myself and work towards what God wants me to be , not what people want me to be . I am convinced that partnering with heaven in this life journey is a peaceful adventure , wherever that takes me . Learning everyday .

Thanks for reading .

Here is a new video I uploaded on my Youtube channel yesterday . I hope you enjoy it (with the lizard on the wall).And subscribe too

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