This is where I start with -IT’S THE CONSISTENCY FOR ME(laughs). I’ve kept this lessons from my guitar thing for three consecutive weeks now . If I take a break now , I am sure you will have something to read if you ever come back to this space of mine . Anyway , thank you for clicking the link that you just clicked and landed here -wherever you found it . Facebook , Twitter , Instagram , even my WhatsApp status . The analytics are very encouraging by the way . That’s exactly why I kept going .

First of all , this is not a self help programme for lost souls . Nope. I know that sounds so weird and rude (probably)but it should not be . If you’ve read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert , there is a part where she basically says don’t do things with an aim of helping people . Don’t write a book because you want to get people out of their ruts , or fix people , or the world . Don’t create art for people . Do it for …..not your governor, not your village elder , not your ancestors , not Arsenal , not your boyfriend , not prince Harry ,not Aristotle or Socrates, not your church choir , not your pretty cat , your neighbor’s weird kid , or the lizard looking at you reading this article right now from the wall ,,none of these people . Do it for YOU. Because it fascinates you and ignites a certain fire in you . That’s why I really don’t want anyone to look at this as a self help corner because you may end up getting disappointed . I wasn’t joking the lizard by the way . I heard that they love reading too .

So here are more lessons from my guitar . I hope they resonate with you once again .

Safe spaces

This one may look a little different , like I have been paid by a multi million guitar company to push their agenda (I wish) . Ever since I picked up the guitar (my dad bought it for me 7 years earlier) I have found a new way of expressing myself and I have found something to push all my creative energy into . When I am happy and jumpy , I pick it up and play happy songs while singing in my head . If you walk into my room while I do that , you will close the door silently , pick up your phone and immediately search for -How to tell if someone has gone mad . I have songs that I can play when I feel confused , when I am grateful , sad , tired ,etc . There is always a song that I can play and swim through whatever emotion I am feeling . I didn’t have that before and that’s why I call my guitars my best friends . When I get home late at night , tired and maybe frustrated (it’s quite normal) , instead of just going to sleep feeling like a sack of rotten potatoes , I can pick the guitar and play one chord progression for as long as I can , while I analyze how my day actually was. I know it looks very weird but trust me , it works , for me .

It’s the same with writing here . I write without following any script or rules (it’s my website so I do what I want ) , because it helps me get a certain load off my back . It can be a good load , or a bad one . Whatever it is , sitting down at the window and writing down my thoughts definitely helps me get clarity on different things . It is a struggle at the end of the day , but one I am willing to suffer for . I once met someone who rides his bike every day to work instead of using public transport . He rides on one of Nairobi’s busiest roads . A struggle ? of course . But why does he put himself through that every single day? Because he loves riding his bike . It makes him so happy that he is willing to ride on a busy highway in the morning .

Self improvement might be ruining your life

Photo by rikka ameboshi from Pexels

Yeah , that definitely got you , right? But what if it’s true. If there is something I have struggled with as a guitarist and even in my piano days(I miss that instrument), it’s trying to be good at it by all means necessary. I was obsessed with learning these things so that I can get out of that beginner category and move up the steps . Of course I did , eventually , which is a huge plus , but looking back , I have realized that even if the sky is the limit , we are not meant to risk everything for it . Because the sky might be different for different people .

I once wrote down a whole plan for my guitar lessons , fixed my daily productivity calendar so that I could FOCUS on learning and guess what , I did absolutely nothing . I realized that without those productivity apps fixing my calendar , I was able to learn smoothly . I enjoyed learning random songs I came across on Youtube or songs I love instead of songs that the guitar teacher online is teaching or suggesting . I could play for an hour without any specific agenda but couldn’t go past half the hour mark with an agenda. Basically , configuring my guitar journey to a roadmap built by someone else stopped me from enjoying the process . So I stopped and did what I felt was right , to just enjoy playing music . Of course , I kept a general plan for essential things that I needed to learn in my mind , but I stopped torturing myself with playing music I did not like .

This is where the self improvement thing comes on board . I know you probably have some self help books and that is okay . I do have some myself . They can be a great boost sometimes . There are positives to it .But self improvement can be a way of turning yourself into ….A MACHINE. The self help industry , as Youtuber Nathaniel Drew puts it , attracts people who are vulnerable (Nail on the head). People who are trying to fix something about themselves . Like a boy here who wanted to learn and be productive at guitar playing . It’s feeling a certain hole .

If you are going to self help from a place of wanting to fix yourself , then it ultimately won’t be the answer . It will leave you feeling more unhappy . It’s the ultimate -FUNCTIONING IN DYSFUNCTION-for me . It’s like a football player walking into the pitch with an ACL injury and playing for 90 minutes .

Can we find external solutions to internal problems? Well , never. And that is the downside of self improvement for most young people these days (me included). Someone special said to me “Self improvement might be ruining your life . You get obsessed with fixing everything that you end up missing everything . Imagine taking your car to the mechanic every weekend for checks and repairs yet the car is in perfect condition or maybe it has a small fault that you can work on by yourself. The mechanic will give you a false diagnosis and take your money to fix nothing . Who losses here ? It’s you . You don’t go out on that road trip or make extra money with the car because of an obsession of fixing it “. I thought about that for some time and it ended up resonating with my guitar journey. I tried to fix it so much that I missed almost a whole month of it . I can’t even remember the songs I learned during that season .

I don’t know about you but I am learning to just , you know , LIVE. I am in that phase of my life where everything falls to -You need to save more money for your future -Invest while you can-Buy that plot of land NOW-Get married – Have babies-Wake up at 5am and start being productive-Don’t waste your time doing silly things-Work on your confidence -Be bold-Wear that suit so that you can look serious with life-Start planning for your retirement-Bitcoin-Be a philosopher -etc etc . I am not brushing off all these things but sometimes I just want to sit down and watch SpongeBob square pants or hang upside down on the wall while playing PES 2017(laughs uncontrollably). I have been “running” ever since I turned 19 , from school to getting into the career I am in right now . Running and running . I am sure I am not the only one who went to school while too young , ended up a 16 year old form 4 leaver and that leaves you working extra hard to prove the-Age is nothing but a number at work -narrative. Makes sense? I hope it does

If you ever approach me with the-“MK ,you know you are in your early 20s , so …..blah blah blah ..work on your self image , your brand …” , I want you to know that I acknowledge your valued input . However , I might not even have an idea of where I want to be in the next five years or I am figuring out how we can sell Willian , Bellerin and Kolasinac and make enough money to buy a new midfielder within the next three days before the transfer window comes to an end .(laughs). I know I am speaking for so many people here .

I am learning to just live , be present , be kind to myself and work towards what God wants me to be , not what people want me to be . I am convinced that partnering with heaven in this life journey is a peaceful adventure , wherever that takes me . Learning everyday .

Thanks for reading .

Here is a new video I uploaded on my Youtube channel yesterday . I hope you enjoy it (with the lizard on the wall).And subscribe too

Facebook Comments Box
Share this
You May Also Like
Read More

Through my Heart

Mental health concerns of people with pre-existing medical conditions have not been adequately addressed.
Share this
Read More