So I recently took the COVID Vaccine . I’m sorry if you read this and you have your genuine concerns about taking the vaccine . We all do have our concerns and I want you to know that it’s okay to have them . Anyway , taking the vaccine has been one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life so far . I mean it . It may look like a -go to the shop and come back -decision ( very easy ) to millions of people around the world , but to me , it has come from a huge struggle . A war that began many years ago when I was diagnosed with Rheumatic Heart Disease . 

   See , one common  solution to RHD is being put on long term medication ( the most painful injections ever ) . I have come across people who took the monthly injections for two years or even less before they were cleared . It all depends on your condition I guess . I was 8 years old when I started my monthly injections and ran away with it for the next 10 years . Yeah , TEN . I know , I know , I know , I am a strong boy (Laughs) . I get that compliment all the time and yours is also very much welcomed (Smiles ). In ten years , my body took in over 100 doses of Benzathine Penicillin and maybe thousands of daily pills ( I stopped the count ) . It’s quite obvious that all that medication configured my body to what it looks like today ( I’m a freaking handsome boy -laughs) . 

   To take the vaccine or not has totally been influenced by my medical background just like millions of people in Kenya and around the world . I love that no one has been forced to take it (I hope it stays that way). For me , though , I did it for one specific reason . To silence the little voice in my head that always tries to keep me in the ten years of medication . It’s me telling fear that my toxic relationship with her has to come to an end and to start the divorce proceedings , I will do something that will prove to her that I am moving on . That I would rather be out in the coldest of nights by myself than live in that house with her . When signing the registration sheet before taking the vaccine , fear fixed my eyes on the part where you have to indicate if you have any medical conditions or anything of concern in your body . There was a heart disease part that I almost clicked until I literally heard a voice telling me “You were healed “. Even though I was cleared a few years ago , my toxic relationship with fear has made me live like I wasn’t . So the boldest thing I have done this year ? Clicking -NONE. NONE . This was a message to fear that I was cutting ties with her , a message to myself that like Peter , I was now stepping into the great unknown and to the government , that they should not add me to any current statistic . If it was 2014 , they could freely do their research and analysis with me , but not anymore.

   The moment that needle went through my left hand , I felt a new energy within . Flashbacks to the dozens of times when I had to be injected three or four times because the liquid was too thick rolled in my mind . God was literally transporting me back to the days where things were worse , telling me that He was right there and He has never changed . Fear said the vaccine would put me down for once and for all . God said the hundreds of injections I have already taken were all capable of taking me out but they did not . This one was no different . It’s shocking how we hear voices in our heads from two sides , one being the noisy and destructive one while the other is gentle and kind . The noisy one can get the upper hand because , well , it’s LOUDER .The loudest voice can seem to be the voice of truth because it also works with what is seen . The small gentle voice works with what is not seen . But what is faith , though? Exactly . You guessed it right . The things not seen .

   We cannot fear what does not exist . That sounds absurd until you look at it from a different perspective . If we have that feeling of fear , it means whatever we are afraid of exists , right ? Wrong. I have come to realize that what we fear may not exist at all and I can ensure that it doesn’t exist at all with my faith . Getting to that place where I started living a life of freedom from that heart condition was the way of ensuring that what I was afraid of does not exist . Because I believed a different narrative so the existing one had to disappear . It does not mean that I don’t go through moments where I doubt or question everything . I do . And I am growing to allow myself to ask the tough questions and allow God to teach me something through those spaces . 

  This is the most random thing I have written on my website this year but I hope it makes sense . I really do -(confused). 

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