Paul , in the book of Corinthians , writes about spiritual gifts and how the Spirit gives people different gifts . If there’s someone who is gifted in song writing in this world , it has to be Benjamin Hastings . His catalogue of globally recognized worship songs is evidence enough .

Ben was at the heart of songs like So will I , As you find me , Highlands , Captain and dozens of other songs done by Hillsong Church from Australia . But that was him , as part of a group or a band , and now he has released music as a solo artist and the gift of song writing that he has is being immersed into the hearts of many people who would recognize his input in a song even when he was part of a group . It’s quite clear that he hasn’t left the band . The other members seem to be the ones cheering him on and it’s such a beautiful thing to see.

So , Ben released two songs last Friday and one of them has been the one thing ringing in my mind ever since . The song Faith is . No, don’t finish the sentence . Not yet time .

If you’ve listened to the song As you find me or Highlands , you’ll realize that Ben is never afraid of looking at doubt or fear in the face and doesn’t sugarcoat them with convenient verses . That’s what makes the music he writes very relatable . That is exactly what this song “Faith is ” portrays . I have been tucked into the words in this song because I completely relate to every struggle .

Line –I think we all have our doubts I just think mine just caught up

When my late friend Patrick was battling stage four cancer , all my doubts caught up with me in that season . Even though I trusted God with his healing , I doubted that He could actually pull the impossible . That He could reverse everything and my friend would be okay . I would remind God all the time that He did it for me with my heart condition so he should do the same for Patrick . Whenever I prayed that prayer , the doubts I had about my own healing caught up with me and the whole atmosphere was filled with doubt and fear . I wanted God to do things according to my will . This whole year has turned to be the year that God has been re-constructing my heart to understanding his will . It’s okay to have your doubts . I have learned that this year .But in the doubts and in the fears , we need to recognize that He is right there in the middle of the fight . Right there where we are angry at how things turn out . Little by little , through the Holy Spirit , we are able to get new perspectives of different seasons in our lives and that , that is what Faith is all about

Have you been through a season where doubt caught up ?

Line-I’m not a lost hope I’m more like a house on the sand And if the wind starts to blow I don’t know how much longer I’ll last

This is the other line that I completely relate with . I break it down to functioning in dysfunction . While reading the book Brave Surrender by Kim Walker Smith , this idea came to me .

You see , a house on the sand might look so perfect until the wind starts to blow . When the wind blows , the house starts crumbling down because it was built on a weak ground . The foundation was too fragile .

What if my faith is the same ? I might ask myself . When a dark season comes , will I start crumbling down like that house on the sand ? If a wind of sadness passes by , will my anchor hold me firm . Or will I blow away into doubts and fears again ? And how then , can I build a strong foundation that won’t be shaken ?

Sometimes it’s good to do such spiritual check-ups . I am learning to spend more time by myself having these moments . It’s where you become real with yourself . It can be the most uncomfortable moment but for the sake of that house , do it.

Functioning in dysfunction usually ends in us hitting a dead end and we have to go back to the start again . To find the exact moment where the dysfunction happened in our lives . Was it after a breakup ? Or the divorce ? Or when you lost the job? Or after the death of a loved one ? Or when we were very sick ? Or after an argument with someone ?

There are so many other lines from the song that I’d point out for speaking exactly what has been in my heart but all the same , I guess this is me just appreciating God for using such pieces of art to reach our hearts . The same way , we use such songs to express our innermost feelings and at the center of it , we have an encounter with him .

Religion has fixed us to pushing away any art that seem to be all about us expressing our deepest feelings and that’s why songs like these may get a backlash from one or two individuals . But when you turn back to the Bible , you’ll find people like David , Job , even Paul , in their most vulnerable moments expressing their deepest feelings but ultimately pointing back to God . They all recognized Him even when they felt like it was the last thing they had to do and that’s what Faith is if you ask me . It’s not about everything working out or a fairy tale . It’s not Cinderella or Peter Pan . It’s being more like Jesus no matter what the cost is .

There are a few songs that wrench my heart in such comforting ways that I can’t even explain and it’s only then that I recognize God’s presence in the middle of it.I guess it’s quite different with different people just the way Paul says that the Spirit gives different people different gifts . Some He gives the ability to speak in strange tongues and others the ability to explain what is said .

If you are looking for the song Faith is , here it is

Other songs that Benjamin Hastings has been a part of the writing process

So will I –

As you find me

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